weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
