I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
