just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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