I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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