So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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