Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jerry, you need to find god
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
