She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
