so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
