smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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