I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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