Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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