o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize