she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
