it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
