Dual....:-)
Its about making memories worth repressing
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need water and some morals
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
