Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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