Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize