Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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