apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
