she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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