i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What a dumb baby whore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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