So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize