I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
