Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
