I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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