Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i've created a new STD.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
