Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
