it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
