just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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