I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
