I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
