I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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