You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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