I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
