Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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