I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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