I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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