booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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