How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
