Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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