i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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