And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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