He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
