What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
