Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize