I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
