You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
