So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize