Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
