3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
