I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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