my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
