check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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