I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
