you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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