Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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