singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
