I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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