Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
