you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
