I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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