Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
