Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we're chasing vodka with high fives
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
