The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
