i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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