I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I pour the whiskey from now on
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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