soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
