so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
